I decided to add a new category to my blog called “Pet Peeves.” Like most compulsive people, I have my share of these and I’m confident my therapist – if I had one – would suggest I share these with the world to get them out of my head.
I wrote recently about the NY Times falling prey to using the word “freaking” instead of “fucking.” It’s depressing to me that the editors at this venerable institution would allow this to happen. Even if they were quoting someone (as they were) they should have said “freaking (sic)” to indicate they were aware of the erroneous word substitution.
This morning, I awoke to an email from Chris Wand with the eleven acceptable times in history to use the “F” word (which his email fondly responds to as @#$% – I’ll go ahead an use that usage below to try to avoid spam filters – oops, RSS doesn’t have spam filters yet, oh well – freedom of speech.) Of course, I think it’s acceptable in virtually every fucking sentence, but I thought Chris’s eleven times were priceless enough to pass on. If you disagree with any of these usages, please feel free to take it up with Chris.
11. “What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?” – Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
10. “What the @#$% was that?” – Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
9. “Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?” – Custer, 1877
8. “Any @#$%ing idoit could understand that.” – Einstein, 1938
7. “It does so @#$%ing look like her!” – Picasso, 1926
6. “How the @#$% did you work that out?” – Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. “You want WHAT on the @#$%in ceiling?” – Michelangelo, 1566
4. “Where the @#$% are we?” – Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. “Scattered @#$% showers, my ass!” – Noah, 4314 BC
2. “Aw c’mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?” – Bill Clinton, 1998
1. “Geez, I didn’t think they’d get this @#$%^ing mad.” – Saddam Hussein, 2003
So – next time – use the real thing – some of the greats in history have.